I am trying to enjoy the Christmasness, but I haven’t quite got in the full swing. Listening to Christmas music in the car, the office, and decorating has helped, but since the tree ain’t up yet, I think that plays a big part. I went shopping last weekend and I only purchased one thing. It felt overwhelming to me for some reason. Too many people and they all seemed rude in a way. What happened to society? Anyway…. I digress… I am sure that I will shop soon, but maybe not on a Saturday.
Believe it or not, I am always overwhelmed when it comes to shopping for Christmas. I seem to get “dizzy” and suddenly forget how to buy things. So this is where JB always saved me. It was our tradition on Black Friday to start early and meet at Starbucks. We would get coffee and pumpkin scones and discuss our lists. He would ask me, “Where is your list?” I would always say… “Uh.. I haven’t done it yet!” He would calmly reply, “Well, let’s say we start a list and then think of what we could get, shall we?” We would both have a great laugh and then I would start a list. JB had great ideas and could formulate a game plan of where to shop, best deals to get and what to buy who. He was genius at Christmas. The last 2 years I have sucked at it. I have forgotten gifts, done things last minute and never really found the “magic” that seems to be in the holiday. I know it’s because I miss him. I miss our traditions, our coffees, and his friendship. Funny, this January it will be 3 years he has been gone and I still can’t think of him without crying.
So this year I thought how JB would NOT appreciate the fact that I have fallen off the Christmas list making and shopping, etc. wagon. SO… I thought to make a new one with my 8 year-old nephew. I took him to Starbucks on Black Friday, but not early at all. It was more like 9:00 am. He had a hot chocolate with extra whip, and me a decaf soy latte. And we both had big fat pumpkin scones. (I had to have some JB in the tradition). When we sat down with our breakfast of champions, he stared out the window... thinking ever so deeply. I could tell because he was quiet and not asking if I can take him to Target to see the new Lego's they might have. As he sipped his drink, having more giant scone bites, and all the while still looking far off out the window and having a still moment. One never really knows what goes on inside the mind of an 8-year old boy, but I could tell he was contemplating all the worlds’ greatest secrets and that any moment he may ask me something deep, or even worse, ask me something that involved science in some way. Like, why is the ocean not in the sky? Or why are clouds different colors? Why does cheese melt faster in the microwave? What happened after the earth cooled? Then calmly he takes a long sigh, turns and asks me with a most sincere and curious tone, “Aunt K, do you think that I will ever like lettuce?”
It was hard not to laugh, but a large smile burst through my face and with as much confidence as I could muster, I replied, “Oh I am sure you will one day. There are many kinds of lettuces, so you just need to find the right one.” He seemed to accept this and said, “OK.” And that was that. One large life mystery solved! And there it was, a new tradition had begun. And all the while I knew that JB was there, watching and laughing with me. I felt his spirit amidst the sounds of coffee bean grinding, specialty drink calling, people walking in and out, the hustle and the bustle… I knew JB was right there. And I could hear that laugh. His laugh, the only laugh that could crack me up. Somehow I found that a new tradition is really the same one. It’s the love that connects us from then to now. Even if that connection is lettuce.
The list got done. The pumpkin scones got ate. The tummies were warm and full, any my heart was happy.
My advice for you, Dear Readers, is to start a new tradition for yourself. Take one that is heavy and make it light. If you let the lady bugs land, they somehow find a place to do that. Look for feathers… pennies and you will see that angels are around us. Even in Starbucks.
And if you can, have a pumpkin scone. It won’t disappoint on so many levels.
